This month's Australian Empire Magazine has published what is sure to be the most definitive "Greatest 100 Quotes of All Time" list ever. That's it, everyone. It's settled. The pinnacle of screenwriting is a steroid-fueled Austrian robot saying "I'll be back". Anyone who wants to be the next Kaufman, Tarantino, Allen or Whedon? I hope you paid attention.
These lists are stupid. Even if they aren't voted for by the public, they still are. This one was, which is why Twilight features - at ninety-six, but it's still an abomination. "And so the lion fell in love with the lamb." Good work, Stephanie Meyer. You've captured the motherfucking zeitgeist.
The issue is, for the most part, these lists never are about the "best" or "greatest" quotes of all time. They're about the best remembered quotes of all time; the iconic ones, the ones that would most quickly be put in an Oscar montage. "The Best Remembered Quotes of All Time", alas, just doesn't have the same ring to it.
So, "I am your father" (number five), "show me the money" (thirteen), "rosebud" (forty) and "to infinity, and beyond!" (fifty-seven) aren't, on their own, clever bits of writing. Great moments, some of them, with context, but on their own? As lines of dialogue? "Greatest"? "All Time"? "Of"? No.
There is some gold present: "don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love", for example, from Annie Hall is a great line context or no, and it get eighty-ninth spot. But for the most part, these lists are pointless, no matter who votes in them. Because a script is more than just a collection of quotes, one after the other, but more than that, because "I'll be back" just isn't that fucking clever.
These lists are stupid. Even if they aren't voted for by the public, they still are. This one was, which is why Twilight features - at ninety-six, but it's still an abomination. "And so the lion fell in love with the lamb." Good work, Stephanie Meyer. You've captured the motherfucking zeitgeist.
The issue is, for the most part, these lists never are about the "best" or "greatest" quotes of all time. They're about the best remembered quotes of all time; the iconic ones, the ones that would most quickly be put in an Oscar montage. "The Best Remembered Quotes of All Time", alas, just doesn't have the same ring to it.
So, "I am your father" (number five), "show me the money" (thirteen), "rosebud" (forty) and "to infinity, and beyond!" (fifty-seven) aren't, on their own, clever bits of writing. Great moments, some of them, with context, but on their own? As lines of dialogue? "Greatest"? "All Time"? "Of"? No.
There is some gold present: "don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love", for example, from Annie Hall is a great line context or no, and it get eighty-ninth spot. But for the most part, these lists are pointless, no matter who votes in them. Because a script is more than just a collection of quotes, one after the other, but more than that, because "I'll be back" just isn't that fucking clever.
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